We have had a rough few days here at the Brown home. Most of you know that last week Tyler's urologist decided to remove his cystic kidney. She had talked with his cardiologist who we had seen just before Christmas, and they were both concerned with his blood pressures being consistently high. We knew this could be a side effect of the kidney, but I guess we weren't prepared to have surgery just yet on our little guy. Greg and I know this is the best thing for Tyler, but as the surgery gets closer we have fear. Fear that he will hurt, that it won't fix the blood pressure, or that there will be complications. Fear is keeping us up at night. We are learning what trusting God really means.
I remember in college leaning on the Lord to show me where to move after I graduated. I remember trusting God when I said "I Do" to the love of my life, and Greg and I have certainly faced many trials in our 5 years that has made us look to the Lord and say "We trust you." Yet, now with a child we are learning an entirely different kind of trust. The life that we would both give our own for, this little man who makes us smile every day and drives us crazy sometimes too is the hardest one to just lay at the feet of the Lord and say, "he is yours." Greg and I want to hold him as close as we can and protect him, we want to keep him from pain and trials. Yet here we are preparing to put him under anesthesia and have surgery. Yes, it should be an easy surgery and he should be back to normal within several days, but it's still our baby having to do it.
As a pediatric nurse I have seen a lot worse types of surgeries, or situations that a tiny little body must overcome, and some days I think I am crazy for worrying over a surgery as simple as Tyler's. Then I remember what I have told countless parents, it doesn't matter how sick your child is compared to other kids because this is YOUR CHILD, and what he is dealing with is tough because he shouldn't have to do this when he is so little. That's how I feel about Tyler. So this week, when more than once the Lord has allowed me to hear from a quiet time or a sermon that He gives us things in life because it is His will and His plan, I know He is holding Tyler close. He doesn't give us more than we can handle and He gives it to us to make us stronger and more like him. So, Greg and I will try to learn this new way to trust God, because not only is He making us more like Him to be better parents through this, but he is also making Tyler stronger. Yep, I keep telling myself that He is working on our amazing little boy even now at 8 months old, and that gives me hope. That gives me reason to praise Him through this tough situation, because He is working on my baby to make him stronger, and someday Tyler will be able to look back and say "God was there for me." Our prayer for Tyler is that his life will glorify God, and so we will trust that this is just another way for that to happen.
Please pray with us for Tyler. His surgery is January 25. We need him healthy so they can go ahead with the surgery so this virus and persistent ear infection needs to go! Please also pray for Dr. Bush as she does the procedure on him, and that there will be no complications. Pray that he will not hurt afterward and that every person that cares for him will be mindful and careful with him. Pray that Greg and I will trust and not fear. Thank you for loving us through this and loving our sweet Tyler.
On another note of prayer, please keep my friend Callie and her family in your prayers. They are trusting God as well. Callie's mom's scan showed that her pancreatic cancer may have come back. They will find out for sure around Jan 16 when they hope to have the biopsy results. This is such a hard thing to have to wait for, and I am praying that the Lord will quiet them with his love and keep them in His hands.
Prayers for Mom, Dad, Tyler, and all the doctors and nurses!
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